Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
