Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
