is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize