Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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