I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She's the barista slut.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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