Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
