nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
