So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
