doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
i think i just lost a toe
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
