that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
