Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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