He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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