so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
