do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
