a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
