Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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