1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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