the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
