Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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