im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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