there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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