I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
