I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize