This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The feeling are messing with the penis
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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