i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
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I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
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I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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