I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
