Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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