I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
so much tequila, so little girl.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
