I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
