A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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