I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
