did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
