Don't you send me to vm
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
