dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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