God, you're like boner-b-gone
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I need a beard to bite.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
