like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
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I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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