Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
i need some magic done to my vagina
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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