Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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