It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize