Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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