So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
