My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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