She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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