he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
