Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize