please come you make the beer taste better
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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