in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
