Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
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