We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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