This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize