I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
