So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
When did angry sex become our thing?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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