We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
