Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.