also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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