This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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