I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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