my text book just quoted the cookie monster
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
