yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
