Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
