I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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