My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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