so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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