Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
