so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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