I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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