we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
